As hard as this is to write, I feel like it’s time to start getting all this down.
I am in debt. Not just a little bit, a lot. I’ve so far been meeting all repayments, but my outgoings are more than my income so I’m in danger of spiralling. I’ve been self medicating depression with spending, and I’ve been feeling the effects for quite a few years now. I still find it fairly difficult to stop impulse purchasing, but I am getting better…on the whole I’m making conscious choices. They might not always be the right ones, but I guess that’s why I need to sort myself out.
I have recently dug myself out of my overdraft which I had been in for about 8 years, non-stop, because I just wasn’t earning enough to cover my erratic spending. I religiously check my balance on my banking app, so there is no avoidance, no burying my head in the sand. I am fully aware of the mess I’m in, and I’m determined to get out of it. I’ve curbed my spending on catalogue companies, and am pleased to say they are paid off. I’m nibbling away, but I still seem to be struggling, and going round in circles. When I hit a bad patch buying things cheers me up, whether its actual stuff (which I usually don’t need), or food like takeaways or a supermarket binge on stuff that I sometimes end up eating half of, then throwing the rest away because I feel so guilty about the amount of shit I’m eating.
I wont change overnight, and I KNOW that I really do need to change – after a lot of thought I decided to make this public, but please….don’t comment unless it’s constructive. I’m doing this for me, and to show other people in a similar situation that you CAN pull yourself out of it…I’m not doing it to offer advice (because I am in no way qualified to do that!)
Next post will be a list of current debts….